Poor Jimmy killed himself with a butter knife

He tried once and he tried twice

But by the third time he got it right:

Well it took him half an hour just to cut through one wrist

And was eventually found in a puddle of his own piss

When he was put in the ground the very next day

The whole town came out to say:

‘Ah Jimmy we all knew you were gay'

And on the third day; he rose to heaven a most revered saint.

~ G McK